Emotions At Work

In this episode, we open up about a season of heaviness, the moment anger finally delivered its message, and how listening to that signal realigned our vision, restored energy, and sharpened every decision we made as founders and as a team.

We explore how our emotions have guided us. Anger showing us boundaries challenged and unmet needs. Sadness helping us release what no longer fits. Joy fueling momentum, and love anchoring belonging. And we've seen what can be generated when we lead with emotion.

If you’re a founder, leader or curious human who suspects emotions are already shaping outcomes, this is your field guide to using them well. Listen, borrow our rituals, and let us know what changes for your team. If this resonated, subscribe, share with a colleague who leads meetings, and leave a review to help others find the show.

Transcript

Weight Lifted And Self-Care

SPEAKER_02 0:28

Yeah, I mean I feel light at this exact moment.

SPEAKER_01 0:38

Yeah, I feel light.

Anger As Messenger And Protector

SPEAKER_03 0:41

Like I think I was a lot was like weighing on me um the last couple months and just not really feeling not feeling like myself and so and like there's just a lot in my life that was not quite aligning and I was trying to make it all work and it just didn't and now that I'm starting to like really focus on myself and taking care of myself and looking at what it is that I want and need it's been it's been so far good like I I do I feel that kind of weight lifted and hopefully that leads to me having more energy and just feeling feeling better because it's been hard with like my health and stuff yeah thanks for sharing so despite all of that you did a lot very impressive that you've been feeling that way and you had created so much uh with inside out last couple months I think we did a lot um yeah thanks for sharing that's um glad you have this awareness that you can see how things are going and then you take care of yourself because I think it's it's part of this journey there's a lot of many things happening and a lot of ups and downs and what makes a difference is uh for us to be aware of it and then take care of ourselves so we can do it in a sustainable while we are and that's one of the like one of the main things is the burnout for especially profounders and here in San Francisco and the main reason is that is um I think that's resilience to be able to uh that's why emotional awareness creates resilience because then we can see how things are going like okay I need the space otherwise I need to take much longer break and yeah and it was really I was telling you about this earlier but it was really in doing this work and it was listening to my emotions that was finally like where the clarity came where I was like oh if I I had been kind of repressing them or not really like not tuning in you know and that was causing or that was trying to show me that there was misalignment and I wasn't listening and it was coming out and like all of these it was still showing up in all these ways.

SPEAKER_02 3:40

And so doing this work and having these events and especially on anger um last week where we explored anger as this protector and this messenger of like helping us recognize when our needs aren't being met or our boundaries or values are being challenged or something has gone like ununsolved here. And for me that was just such a big learning point that I was like immediately able to recognize what my emotions had been telling me all along and that was the turning point that I needed.

Holding Many Emotions At Once

Community Healing And Safe Containers

SPEAKER_03 4:16

No nice to see our work is see the results of our work on ourselves yeah yeah I think I I don't know how I would deal with all of what I've been dealing in the past couple months if I if we are not we were not doing this work it scares me like the level of um because you know I'm Iranian and all the things that is happening here in Iran the war and so many layers of mixed emotion and it's a lot like it's a lot and it's not it's not ending it's just continuously being with that and I think it most a lot of Iranians are going through those the last two months I think it has been in general very hard because it feels like I'm always carrying this other thing. It's like this old like startup things and life things that we are doing on one side and then there is this very emotional process of things that is happening there and it's a lot of sometimes sadness sometimes hope sometimes but it's been a lot of sadness and anger and it's just it's so unjust and I feel like the sense that people are powerless in making an impact and I think a lot of us also may in general that's how we feel about politics that's that makes it feels just unfair like why why this should happen to people who are a lot of them are very uh kind compassionate people and then there is worry what is gonna what is what is gonna be the impact of this how how many generations need to carry this pain and this trauma whether this country is gonna even exist after all of it and all of those is uh yeah it feels like a lot of me is subconsciously consumed part by that um and I think because of the work that we are doing I get to at least continuously process these things so it's not um it doesn't break me apart in a way like it there's a lot I need to to process a lot but it just same thing it feels it feels I feel much more resilient because of the work that we are doing because I can't keep going and um without ignoring these emotions because I think that would be the opposite of it if I had ignored them and pushed them away and regardless they have their impact. I know it's been it's been a lot and you shared with me about like how how this work too and like some of the stuff that we're doing is helping you with um with some of these um with like being able to hold multiple emotions at the same time and I think that's such a big part of our work too is not just like being able to see one emotion but seeing how they exist together and and what they're you know what role they're playing in our lives and how important it is to be able to tune in to multiple emotions because you know while our anger is there to send us this message our sadness can exist or you know um to um help us like transition move into a new phase and we have you know our joy that built that gives us that excitement and energy to keep moving and so to hold all of those things and love I mean love I know love is like the the anchor of them all right so that we can feel this and then this this process that we've been really that we've been able to go through with this work of being able to share this experience with other people and not just have it look on ourselves like that's such a another part of that process right is that connection that's happening in these events and in you know what we're building and that for me is I think has also really opened up that whereas like I'm very I can get in my head a lot and I can get stuck there you know in my in my head in my body and in what I'm feeling and so this process of being having the space the safe space to open up and actually just like speak on what I'm feeling is is such an important part for me that I I don't I haven't had necessarily yeah such a good observation any of the connecting to emotion events that we had I feel like first of all the whole room everyone from the start to at the end versus at the end the emotions are people are smiling people are connected and there is hope and me too and I I for a couple of days I'm happy yeah I'm like wow that was that's what I needed like that connection and that's safe a space to process my emotion and learn more about it and yeah that's so good that I I'm so grateful you're doing this it is really helping um it's this idea that our emotions happen to us but they also happen in relation to other people and that's such a powerful experience to be able to share that yes I think that's something that actually that's the the magic magic of it is the other people because it is yeah it is there's so many ways to process it ourselves and learn more about it and even with the therapists which is some some of that because there's a connection with this person that holds it but I think within the community that is like there is that safety and connection and that container that is properly said then it just magic happens like we feel I think it's something biological about us that sense of maybe it is related to connection and belonging maybe that's the the other version of it much deeper version of it but just we feel that it's just it it it it heals us in a way um so yeah and I it's nice to do those things because we get to we get to feel that as well um yeah it's like magic it's just so like in last demet you don't need to do much it just as long as the container is set properly and it's really talk through that what we want to create the rest of it is just the people and we create that yeah and I think when we're I mean we're also doing a lot we're doing a lot with what we're trying to build and create and a big part of that is this community um but we're also we're trying to grow and sustain that and you know we're trying to now move into supporting businesses and teams and uh you and I had it a really like important sort of discovery of going through this process of and it it took us both being able to recognize that emotions were coming up as we were like just moving forward with so much momentum but not a lot of time to sit with ourselves and to listen.

SPEAKER_02 13:43

And I think when when we both kind of got to a point where things were not feeling like something was feeling off and we sat with that and we had a chance to talk about that together we realized that there was anxiety there and that there was like potentially some misalignment and we had all it took was having that conversation to like ground us back into our vision and our mission and why we're doing this. And if we hadn't done that if we hadn't take the time took the time to recognize what was coming up for us and be able to explore that together we would probably still be in go mode and not we wouldn't have had that shift where we were able to get back aligned in order to even do more more impactful work. And so I think it says you know as we're building for what this what this our tool could look like for for leaders and in this this discovery process we really are we're both we're both experiencing it by exploring this with other people and leaders and and executive coaches and and people that were really aligned with what we're trying to build and trying to identify those pain points and we're also seeing how this work is impacting our team in a in a really good way and how it's and how like what we're solving for is is that it's those like those moments where emotions aren't like you aren't able to listen to emotions and that comes up in teams just as much as it comes up in individuals if not more. And so if we can give people that that insight into what emotions are are surfacing for teams going you know as you're trying to grow your company and when things are chaotic that can really ground you in a lot and can and can get you um and can really like avoid what could come if you don't you know which could be a number of things it could be going the wrong direction you know of spending a lot of money that didn't need to be spent because you didn't stop to actually listen and see and witness the emotions of your teams that are coming up it could be in like keeping employees all of these things. So we're yeah I mean I'm excited to to get into that discovery process to really start nailing down like what it is that that what type of impact that this work could have for companies.

Realigning As Co-Founders

SPEAKER_03 16:23

Yeah first yeah I I think if we haven't done that we haven't had that uh emotional awareness us as leaders to communicate the challenges as co-founders probably I'm pretty sure we were in a completely different path with I think we had I don't think we would have a fight but probably things it hadn't like we had stopped like okay I guess this thing doesn't work yeah uh because a lot of those we had several of those talks that always it leads to a creative solution coming up and creating realignment and I think that's that's something that I think we are I feel lucky that I'm working with you that we we had to a level of it since the beginning yes in our communication because we were passionate about this and and we had done some work. And then same thing for our team like we wouldn't have a team at this point if that wasn't that culture wasn't built or that process we haven't uh created that those conversations yeah it's like it's our foundation we set that foundation yeah for that emotional awareness and understanding yeah and it's it's just so refreshing like even our team meetings I I come in like this Monday Mondays we have the planning and I came in and I was so emotionally like I was the about the war in Iran I had a lot I couldn't even I didn't really want to talk and first of all it was so safe that I shared what I'm going through and I was there and I when we left that meeting I was like wow I feel so much better now just through going because our team has built that skill to be about each other's emotions and they're comfortable with it and we can listen and that's what I needed so I can imagine if this was an organization that I was working for that didn't have the decade I had to hold this to myself pretend on top of it and I I couldn't at some point things are gonna fall apart versus this thing is really helping me and versus me not needing to be okay that hey this share that first feeling what I'm going through being able to say okay I'm really overwhelmed and I'm sad and I'm angry because of what is happening in Iran and it's it's hard for me to present and then also feel safe to share with everyone um because they I knowing that these people understand emotions and they're not gonna um judge me for it or hold and honor and protect your emotions yeah and they're comfortable with being with someone who's has some emotions and it was so like wow this how did this happen having this thing that I'm I can just share right so it was very refreshing for and all that was great.

SPEAKER_02 20:07

Yeah I think I think for me I was also um dealing with a lot of heaviness during that meeting so it was good to just name that I did I think there is because you know we talk about this and we talk about yeah we have the space to be able to share what we're feeling what we're going through and I I I think that can be handled with this like there's also the the sense of like you are still it's not we're not saying share all your everything about yourself with us and that's how we are a good cohesive team we're saying that there is room for your feelings here and we can hold those we can share in these together we can just have give you a space to feel heard and what you choose to say out loud doesn't matter as much as just having the space to to to be able to feel and I think for me in that space I was I was feeling a lot and to just be able to say that that I'm I'm I'm feeling a lot of things right now that are really hard I didn't feel the need to share what I was actually going through. And I like having that I still felt like that was enough and that people were still able to to support me in sharing that without needing to know. So I think there's levels of like having this emotional awareness and understanding does not equate to you have to share all of your personal details. You get to choose that it's yours to choose but you're safe here you know it's such a a beautiful thing because I'm I knew that I could share that I was dealing with some stuff and be heard. And also that that gave people the space to have that, to to now work with me with that understanding that there's something happening here as well. And so there is more room and space to like, you know, to adjust if I need it.

Emotional Culture In Team Meetings

SPEAKER_03 22:23

And yeah, yeah. A lot of time. First of all, it's important to see what as much as we feel comfortable to share. And also a lot of time, those are the contexts of what happened. It's just hey, this is how I feel. And also I think the other thing is because we're not talking about emotions the whole meeting. It's just we have this clear space that we get present how we feel, and that's how we get connected. And then once we go through the meeting and need to work together and hopefully there is restart from that grounded connective place together.

SPEAKER_02 23:08

Which is so important because if we had there was heaviness, there was um in you could feel it in the room, and that's because we've we spent this time and care together. But if we had just this thing is so sorry for making me all dizzy. Um, I think if if we had just tried to move straight into getting work done, that's the thing about emotions, right? They still exist and they have a lot more power when you don't, when you when like you're they're not being listened to or honored in that way. And part of honoring them is to be able to share that with others and have them like trust, trust people to sit with them, and vice versa, be that holder for them as well. And so setting the container for that in the beginning, and then moving from that space of like now we honor our emotions, we've taken the time to listen to them and share and connect, and then we we can like the the just like you said, like it opens up this creativity, it opens up this sense of productivity, and we'd usually leave the meetings feeling more empowered and more ready to tackle whatever it is than we did when we started.

SPEAKER_03 24:31

Yeah, always always so good.

SPEAKER_02 24:34

You know, there's so many, I've been in so many team meetings that have been like, why am I here? Nothing applies to me. And obviously, you know, the more we grow, that stuff will show up. But because this is such an important sort of even ritual that we do with our teams, we don't, we don't we're not having that sense of like ready for this to be done. I mean, if anything, like it ends up lasting longer than it should sometimes. So why, Zoom? Why are we jumping around like this? But yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 25:12

Um, yeah, it's such a cool thing. Do you see? Do you think this is possible to do this in all organizations to have this?

SPEAKER_00 25:21

I really do. I really do.

SPEAKER_03 25:24

Um it's not taking like it's not much of like I don't think it's taking anything away and it creates so much more.

SPEAKER_02 25:36

Yeah, it only gives, and you know, and and but it it is a foundation that you have to build toward. You don't just show up one day and say, okay, share exactly how you're feeling, you know. We worked very hard to to create that. And so that's such an so it is a process, but I am hoping that with the work that we're doing that we can help people set that foundation for their teams.

SPEAKER_03 26:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 26:08

This is one of those in I think these are this is one of the results of that, and in practice and putting it into practice.

Boundaries, Choice, And Psychological Safety

SPEAKER_03 26:15

Yeah, it makes sense. It's so interesting because it's really, as you say, it's very generative. Like as we do that meeting, after that, we have a lot of time meetings take things, like we get we have less energy and less time. That's normal, like you spend like two hours there in a meeting, and at the end you're like, Oh, okay, now I need to work, but I'm tired. But for us, like, especially the Monday that we have this ritual and connect, at the end, always I have more energy, and I can do more. I'm like, okay, let's uh let's do more and the time and money. I think it's such a a lot of time these days. I I I look at it as more energy, the more yeah, energy we have. It doesn't really matter the time because you once something is generative, some activity, this thing is so okay. Come on, maybe we should uh look at yeah. So once something is generative, I feel like it creates uh yeah, more time in a way.

SPEAKER_02 27:28

Yeah, and you know, it's I have no idea how long we've been talking now, but you're so right, and so that's we're actually gonna be participating in the solar punkation 2026. And so it's a difficult word to say, honestly. And I didn't know that much about like what solar punk is, but it's such a big, it's this is a big community here, and it's but it's all about how we're building these regenerative futures that um that can sustain us and that we can give back to um in our in from technology to art to uh health to all of these things that we're building here. And so like having San Francisco be a hub for these conversations is really important. And the question that we're leaving with is what can you generate when you connect with emotion? That's the question. And that's what we're yeah, that's so that we're gonna be there on Saturday night from 8 to 10:30. It's uh it's late, but it'll be a full day of of building these ideas and of like ideating, of imagining, of connecting. And so we really, we really hope to be this kind of hub for setting that emotional awareness as this grounding and infrastructure to be able to build these regenerative futures and and generate these ideas and build and create, but you but you need that grounding, right? And so we're hoping to be able to support everyone who's doing this important work to really drop down, look at, you know, like be able to witness your own emotions and other people and sit with other people and hold their emotions and explore that together. So I'm really excited about that event. It's a it's a great um, it's like taking our connecting with emotion events and it's bringing it into the regenerative regenerative future solar punk space in such a I think I think like I'm so excited about what's gonna be generated, you know, what what what that answer to that question is gonna be.

SPEAKER_03 29:33

Yeah, I think that question is the key. Yeah, I love that.

SPEAKER_02 29:36

Yeah, so I love that you said that it's generate because it is. It's truly, it truly is. Yeah. And we have other events. Um I don't know when I'm gonna post this, but we are doing a series of emotions at work on every um first Thursday.

SPEAKER_03 29:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 29:57

Um, and so that is specifically for founders, leaders, um, you know, heads of teams, heads of people to um explore uh what emotions are surfacing for them around their company and around what they're trying to build. So it's similar, you know, it's like what are what are we generating when we can really connect with emotion first and explore that together? Um, did you want to add anything?

SPEAKER_03 30:25

No, we're building a real community, like that's what we're doing, a real community of people who are um more connected to their emotion, want to learn about emotions and want to see the impact of that in their own personal life, at their work. But it is very special to see the impact as we're building this community on people.

Generative Work And Energy

SPEAKER_02 30:54

It is, it's truly amazing. And then, of course, we have our connecting with emotion community, which we're continuing to build and grow, where we're we're, you know, where we give have these spaces for people to to do just that, to connect with each other, and we focus on a different emotion every month, and we plan to really expand that into um into just building more of these um like learning opportunities and um both like learning and putting it into practice. Um, so we're excited about that.

SPEAKER_01 31:30

Well, we invite you to join us and do this, keep going, right? All right, thanks for listening.